dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
