i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
