dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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