it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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