My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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