i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
