You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
