Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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