brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
