i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
