So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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