So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is the high leading the old right now
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
