i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
