someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
