just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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