he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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