On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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