Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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