i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
