All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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