If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
