I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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