dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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