Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
