don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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