how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I die, sorry about rent.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
