Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize