I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
