Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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