I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
