so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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