mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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