we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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