Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
