whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
