Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
