It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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