You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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