are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
