direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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