omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
