Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
