need another drink. this is the easiest way
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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