dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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