break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
