Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
