I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
