I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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