I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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