Moan for me like Helen Keller
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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