I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
