Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize