Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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