he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
