Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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