she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You had me at "let me see your balls"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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