You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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