So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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