I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
