I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
