Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
