It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
