Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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