the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
